3. Want vs need
We know very well that broccoli is much healthier than candy and that new sneakers are more useful than dolls. So we dictate to our children (sometimes we hide it, and sometimes we don’t) what they should want. It’s like the joke, “Mom, am I hungry?” “No, you are cold and you want to be in a warm place.”
What do such things lead to? They suppress a child’s “me,” their wishes, and their goals. Such things also lead to being a blameless victim or even a rebellion against everyone.
What to do? Search for the needs and wishes of the child. If you need to teach them good habits, don’t do it violently. Do it smoothly.
4. Help them too much
2- and 3-year-old children can already put on and take off different clothes by themselves, wash cups, and put dirty clothes in the washing machine. More than that, at this age, children really want to do it by themselves.
And what do we do? We dress them almost until they get married. We support this behavior with the arguments “He can’t do it!” We feed them, we don’t let them do it themselves, and we don’t let them experiment. And later on, we are surprised when a teenager is untidy or doesn’t want to help their mother.
What to do? Let the kid do as much as possible by themselves.